I'm not perfect
by Koko
Summary: My version of Shadow's past (Isn't correct to matching up to the real one)


From where she was, the Earth looked calm and peaceful. A planet floating not so far away, where turmoil and war didn't exist. In her mind, at least. That blue planet was a place the girl had never visited. She didn't know anything about it, and yearned some day to be able to go there. Her grandfather had told her of how things were there, when he wasn't busy, that is. Things that never ceased to amaze her. Cars, houses, parks, churchs, and more. Never was she quite able to grasp these things to their true meaning, but instead played with the images to suit how she would like it.  
  
Pressing her hands against the cold glass, she hoped that she might actually be able to go there. If she wished hard enough, if she prayed hard enough...Maybe someday she could meet some other kids her age and...  
  
"Maria?"  
  
Snapping out of her day dream, she spun around to not a human, but a short black hedgehog with red tipped spikes. His appearence wasn't very sweet, and if she had not known who he was, she would have been worried.  
  
"Shadow!" Jumping off her bed, Maria ran over to the small creature and lifted him up, spinning him around and hugging him tightly. "Oh Shadow! I thought you weren't gonna come back this time!"  
  
Shadow laughed, before clearing his throat, "Hey hey! Put me down! Give the hero some space!"  
  
Beaming, she set him down on her bed, and kneeled next to it so she was just a tad shorter than him. "Hero?! What happened! Oh I just knew you'd do great! Grandfather must be impressed, right?! I had total confidence in you Shadow!"  
  
His look turned from happy to playfully smug, and then paused before answering. "Nothing, nothing, I just saved the ARK from an incoming meteor" Then he grinned at her, "All in day's work!" The golden haired girl laughed, "Wow! Really? That's great! I'm glad I don't have to worry about those things anymore. 'Cause of you, Shaddy!" She stroked his fur and rubbed his ear and he nuzzled under her chin alittle and then pulled back and looked out at the window. In a tone different before, "Before I announced my presence...you were looking outside. At...the Earth. From my observations, you've done that a lot, Maria." She looked down, slowing down but continuing to slowly scratch his ear, "Oh...yeah. It was just ah...well, what do you think of it, Shadow?"  
  
"Think of it?"  
  
"The Earth."  
  
"What do you mean? I think it's the 3rd planet from the sun, it's 75% wat--- "  
  
"No no! I mean, what do you think is on it."  
  
"....Plants and animals?"  
  
"....Humans like me and grandfather?"  
  
"Well yeah! Millions of them! And every single one looks different..."  
  
"Did grandfather tell you that, Shadow?"  
  
"No...I'm just guessing."  
  
"Oh. ...You think we'll ever get to visit there?"  
  
"Gerald is constantly studying it...in conjunction with studies on me...I don't know. Maybe we will. I'd really like to see what it's like down there."  
  
"You think there's other animals like you, Shadow?"  
  
"Oh, no. That I know is a fact. Animals down there have very low intelligence levels...not anyone I could be friends with."  
  
Maria looked over at him. "You sad?" He quickly looked over at her, "M-me? No. I'm not sad. I don't think I can be sad."  
  
"You can't?"  
  
"I don't think it was made part of me when I was created. Just happiness and anger I suppose."  
  
That's depressing, she thought.  
  
"You can't miss what you don't have," he replied to her silence.  
  
"Yeah, I guess that's right. Still...that's unfair. Maybe I should go talk to gran---"  
  
"No. Just drop it, alright? It's fine."  
  
"If you say so."  
  
There was a pause then, both gazing out at the empty space, minus a large blue planet.  
  
"Shadow, will you play with me tomorow?"  
  
"Sure, Maria. I---"  
  
The noise of the automatic doors was made, and a large man with a mustache entered. His face was gentle and he smiled. "Bedtime, Maria."  
  
"But Grandfather! I want to talk to Shadow some more!"  
  
"Tomorow's another day. Shadow needs to sleep too, you know."  
  
She attempted to use puppy eyes and then clung to Shadow as he flailed to get in a non strangulating position. Shaking his head, Gerald laughed. "Come now Maria. I'll let you two say goodnight and then lights off in five minutes. Alright?"  
  
Two replies of "Alright" were heard, one alittle out of breath. The doors closed and Shadow rubbed his neck. Maria got up and walked over to a divide in the room, a translucent cloak divinding the two areas. Shadow faced the window as the silhouette of Maria taking off her dress was visble then slipping on a night shirt. Brushing her hair as she came out, she sat on the side of the bed. "Sure is big, isn't it?" Shadow turned to her.  
  
Maria was a beautiful girl, 15 years of age. She had long golden hair that went alittle past her shoulders, and shining blue eyes. She had a very small figure, unlike the rest of the Robotnics. She wore a long light blue nightdress that barely graced the floor.  
  
"Yes...very big. A bunch of it's just water though...only a fourth is land... still, there's gotta be tons and tons of people there."  
  
She smiled gentally, "Somewhere on that planet, there's animals like you, Shadow." She stated this as a fact, not a guess. Shaking his head, he replied, "It's a nice thought Maria. Simply a thought." He then leaned over and pulled back the covers for her as she got under them, and then placed them back gentally. Tucking her in a bit, he smiled leaning over her. "A thought that's appreciated," Shadow added for good measure. Eyes half closed, she stroked his head once more and yawned. "Shadow..."  
  
"I don't hear sleeping in there!"  
  
"ZZZZZZ!!!"  
  
"I'm serious Maria! Lights off now or you won't get Holo privilages for a month!"  
  
"I'm sleeping I'm sleeping! I'm sleeping, aren't I Shadow?!"  
  
"Technically, you---....Yes! She's sleeping alright! Sound asleep!"  
  
Gerald opened the door then after hearing that little spiel, to arrive in a dark room only luminated some by the night sky. Shadow then tapped his back as he did a double take. "Perhaps you should close the door now." Nodding, he shut it and looked back to Shadow.  
  
With Maria, Shadow was a completly different pers---er, hedgehog. Maria had nuzzled her way into Shadow's heart when he was first created, and ever since then he had a very strong bond with her. He treated her carefully, like a parent, and yet he talked and played with her like a friend. Otherwise, Shadow was strictly The Ultimate Lifeform. Emotions didn't play a part in that side of him, and Gerald had often wondered what he had done wrong. Shadow was suppost to be completly that, not part. Somehow, he made the little black hedgehog part...well, human. Not all for nought, he used this "flaw" to study Shadow even more, and it effected their relationship greatly. Though Maria didn't really notice it, Gerald treated Shadow like an "it" more than a "he". It wasn't because he was cruel (he was actually a very kind man), but that's what Shadow was to him. Project Shadow, a study on what the ultimate lifeform was to be. In return, Shadow treated Gerald as his master, not another human. The relationship between the two ran well because of this, and it was certainly a relief.  
  
"Have you noticed any changes with Marias sleeping patterns?"  
  
"Yes...She's been getting up earlier lately. I think she possibly stays awake during some of the night too. From my readings, she's getting 3 hours less than what a girl in her enviroment and age needs."  
  
"Any ideas why?"  
  
"None at all."  
  
"I see...." He rubbed his chin and paused, turning down another hall way after entering a 4 digit code on the side panal. "Have you noticed any other unusual things?"  
  
"About Maria?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"She's been observing the blue planet, Earth, a lot. I've encountered her 13 times when she was looking at it, twice once, in one day."  
  
"Oh, alright."  
  
"....She wants to ...understand and...comprehend what that planet is about. I suspect...her origin is there. I haven't heard of any other planets with life forms such as yourselves."  
  
"Yes. Earth is where Maria's parents live."  
  
"Her mother and father? Why do you keep them seperated?"  
  
"...Maria's parents...aren't kind people, Shadow."  
  
".....Oh, I see. Did they not want her?"  
  
"No Shadow, they didn't."  
  
Shadow looked at the floor, absorbing the information and storing it in his expansive memory to come back to later. "Do I have parents, Gerald? Was my DNA taken from another hedgehog?"  
  
"No Shadow. You weren't created off hedgehog DNA. You were built peice by peice, with thousands of different strands of dna in you. Your image is purely based on manipulation of cells. I can't say you do."  
  
"Oh." Inside, he felt nothing. He thought to himself, I wonder if this is where sadness would come in?  
  
"How have you been, Shadow?"  
  
"Operating?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Just perfect. As always...except for..."  
  
"Except for?"  
  
"My..memory."  
  
"Short or long term?"  
  
"Long term."  
  
"What is it you were trying to recall and couldn't?"  
  
"My...creation."  
  
"I deleted it from you, Shadow."  
  
Shadow looked to Gerald as he continued walking down the long corridor, half shocked and confused. "Why??? Why would you delete that?"  
  
"I have my reasons." He then pressed in a 5 digit letter code password to his lab, and large doors retracted. Now visible to the two was a huge room that took up a fourth of the space colony. Another long pathway, which led to a large control system. "I'd like to do some other scans on you."  
  
".....Ok. Um...Professor?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Could you please not delete anything else?"  
  
"I won't."  
  
"Thanks" Stepping up to a platform that was fairly small, just big enough for him, he paused and waited in postion. Several beams passed through him then, as Gerald was at the control panal. More lasers scanned him from every side, and a red light cast it's presence over Shadow every few seconds. Suddenly, a flash appeared in Shadows mind.  
  
"Gr..Grandfather! What's wrong with him?!"  
  
"Hold on Maria...I'm trying to fix it..one moment..please..."  
  
"Grandfather you have to hurry! He's going to die!!"  
  
"Shush Maria! I'm working as fast as I can!!"  
  
"There isn't any more time! He's not breathing anymore! Grandfather!!!"  
  
Shadows eyes shot open and he looked around. The room was still flashing red, but that was from the lasers.  
  
"Shadow, please try to eliminate your thought process right now...it's interefering with the scans."  
  
"Y..yes."  
  
The scans went well after that and Shadow was allowed off the platform a few minutes later.  
  
"Hm....One error...Easily corrected...come here, Shadow."  
  
Shadow walked over to the large man and looked up at him, as he kneeled to the hedgehog's level and took out a small hand held laser. Holding Shadow's left eye open he ran the laser in a circle about a centimeter away from it. He then clicked it off and let go. "There, good as new."  
  
"Optical?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
Shadow looked at the floor, wondering what the surge of memories was and why they were coming back so choppy and confusing. "Professor?"  
  
"Hn, what is it?"  
  
"Do I have the ability to be....sad?"  
  
"To be sad? Why would you ask such a question?"  
  
"Maria mentioned it...and I..."  
  
"Maria was asking about your abilities again? I'll have to discipline the child. I've told he---"  
  
"No, don't. Please, she's just curious. It's not her fault, that's how children are."  
  
"...I suppose your right Shadow. I suppose that's why you've been asking so many questions lately."  
  
The black hedgehog paused to think about that. A child? He thought. He never had thought of himself as a child, maybe it's because he had never been a baby. He was created the size he was now, with abilties exceeding anyone in the known universe.  
  
" I aplogize for inquiring on so many subjects earlier, Professor."  
  
"Oh it's ok Shadow. Now go on, you need to rest."  
  
Nodding, Shadow walked out of the room and down the hall. As soon as the doors slammed shut, he began trying to recall those memories. Nothing came to him at all, and he exhaled. It bothered him there was something he couldn't do. As he repassed Maria's door, he looked to the left and the right. Hallways as far as the eye could see were empty, and so he opened it a bit. Slowly walking in, he kneeled next to Maria's bed. There was a serene look on her face that was bathed in moonlight, and she slept calmly. Her hand was over the side of the bed, and Shadow suddenly nuzzled underneath it.  
  
That was what made this relationship very special. Not only did Shadow treat Maria like his own child and his friend, but like his own mother. He went to Maria for comfort most every day, something she never ceased to deliver. Maria had been the only comfort Shadow had ever known, the only one who had ever treated Shadow like a living being creature, not an inanimate object. When he had thought about how their relationship worked, he never could say she was his friend, his family...just someone who loved him and who he loved back.  
  
"Shadow!!!"  
  
The small animal rubbed his eyes and looked around groggily, seeing Maria at his side looking alittle scared, clinging to her blanket, but the voice didn't come from her. He slowly looked over to his right and his face crashed smack into a familiar man's leg.  
  
"Shadow!!!!" He bellowed. Shadow jumped up at attention but ended up falling over backwards and looked up. "Shadow I told you to go to bed last night!"  
  
"Grandaddy he just wanted to sleep wi---"  
  
"Silence, Maria! Shadow's rest is very important! If he doesn't rest it drastically effects my studies and puts me weeks off course!!"  
  
"I..I slept Proffesor," Shadow said, slowly waking up.  
  
"You didn't sleep in your gene-charger Shadow. You KNOW what I mean!"  
  
"Leave him alone! It's not his fault he---"  
  
"That's is quite enough Maria! Shadow, your coming with me! Maria, you are not to see Shadow today!"  
  
"GRANDFATHER!!"  
  
"That's my final word!" Grabbing Shadow's wrist, he yanked him away from Maria's bed.  
  
"But Grandfather we were going to play today! Please not today! Please!!!"  
  
"I'm sorry, but I'm not going to allow that Maria! This is a punishment!"  
  
"But it's not my fault!!"  
  
"I know, I hope Shadow will learn from his mistake." He glared down at Shadow.  
  
Shadow couldn't bare to look into his angered red eyes. It wasn't that he was scared, he was ashamed. He then pulled him to the door way and shut it behind him, leaving a crying Maria.  
  
"Do you see what you have done, Shadow? Let this be one of your lessons."  
  
"Professor, if I may speak up, a lesson is based on facts in a text book said by a professional. This is a situation that has put Maria in a depressed state from my personal mistake."  
  
"Exactly. What's the point of lessons?"  
  
"...To learn from them?"  
  
"Yes. I hope you understand that."  
  
After being ushered up several floors, Gerald opened a door. Inside there was a glass dome with glass walls and a metal floor. From this floor, he could see everything below him. "I'll return later." The proffesor shut the door leaving Shadow sitting in the middle of the room. He sighed and curled into a small ball to spend his time sleeping, but he had trouble now that there was no familiar warmth.  
  
Stomping down the hall, Maria had her fists clenched at her sides. Oooo, how dare he do that! She thought. It was bad enough her Grandfather never let her in on what he was doing, but he had never considered giving her any friends. It was purely by concidence that she and Shadow had become closer than the best of friends. She remembered clearly the day he was created, and that eased her anger ... a little.  
  
"Maria! Step back from him! He may be dangerous! ....Maria!!"  
  
"Awwww Grandaddy, look at him. He looks scared, not vicious!"  
  
"He CAN'T be scared Maria. Now step away from him!".....approaching the small hedgehog, fresh out his creation chamber, she kneeled down. His eyes were still adapting to the light, and his nerves to the tempreture. "Hey there! My name's Maria!" The hedgehog looked over at her, "Ma..Mah..Maria? Your name is Maria?" She jumped back a few feet, "You can talk?!" He blinked a few times and rubbed his jaw. "Yeah. I've been created by Professor Gerald from the Space Colony ARK and---" Before he could finish, she pounced and glomped him. "Oh wow! This is so cool! You and me can be friends! I can call you..hn...how about...----"  
  
"His name is Shadow. The study subject of Project Shadow." Stated her Grandfather, from behind the control panal.  
  
"Oh...Alright, Shadow it is! Come on Shadow! Lemme show you my room and my stuff and the space colony! Come on come on!!!" She grabbed his wrist and ran out of the room with him, leaving a perplexed professor.  
  
A smug little grin came to her face. Luckily she had stumbled into her Grandfathers lab that day, or who knows how Shadow would of turned out. In fact, if she wouldn't of been there...  
  
"Mistress, what are you doing out of your quarters?" asked a robotic voice. Maria nonchalontly turned to the floating robot that looked like a mix of a video camera and a vacuum. "I'm going to see Grandfather."  
  
"Your grandfather is busy right now.  
  
"Your programmed to say that whenever I say "I'm going to see Grandfather""  
  
"....You are smart, Mistress."  
  
She nodded, rolling her eyes and walked on down the hallway. It was a long walk to the lab, and she had only traveled half the way. Looking up, she wondered how Shadow was doing. Wrapping her own arms around her she paused and stared at the floor. The ARK was a lot bigger and scarier alone, even though to her it was home. Suddenly she held her chest as a shock ran threw it and she collapsed to her knees, gasping for air that wasn't coming.  
  
Many floors up, Shadow's ear twitched a little. He opened his eyes, looking around for the bedroom he...wasn't in. He sighed and then tried to reposition himself to go back to bed. Once again, his ear twitched. Pausing, he got up and walked casually over to the glass wall. He looked down and suddenly saw Maria, unconcious, 8 floors down. He slammed his fists on the glass yelling out words that weren't heard, thanks to the sound proof glass. This wasn't regular glass, it was specially made to stand up to any physical attacks. Enraged at his inability to do anything, he pounded on the door, yelling out for the Professor. Unfourtunately, he was over 20 stories down and couldn't hear any of the current catastrophe. After a moment of seeing that wouldn't work, he rammed his body against the glass with no luck. A few more tries, including ramming, kicking, slamming, and the sort, he fell down panting. He stared at the ground in front of him in anger and then suddenly noticed his shoes. An idea hit him, and he bent his leg around to see the bottom of his shoe. Playing with the bottom of it for a moment he then held it straight out towards the glass. A huge wave came from the rockets on the bottom of his shoes and the glass exploded and hovered into space. Shadow clung to the wall all started climbing down, and then jumped when he was only half a floor away, repeating the procedure in a very careful circle this time. The glass broke off and he jumped in, before making the glass he cut out return and meld back into place. He then turned to Maria and fell onto his knees. "MARIA!! MARIA!" He got no response, she was completly out cold. He searched his memory for what to do, and then picked up Maria in his arms. Even though Maria was 3 times his size, this required no effort and he went zooming off to Geralds lab.  
  
When he arrived, he kicked the door straight off as Gerald quickly took Maria out of his arms. "Shadow...? How did you...?"  
  
"Just FIX her! Please Professor!"  
  
He looked to Maria, and it appeared she was breathing a bit more now. The professor closed his eyes and shook his head, then sat Maria down on one of the observation tables.  
  
"...Well don't just look at her, aren't you going to give her some kind of medicine to fix her?"  
  
Gerald shook his head, "Shadow....Maria was born this way."  
  
"W..what?? She was born broken?"  
  
"It's called an illness. Maria's lungs are smaller than normal childrens, and thus when her emotions get too strong or she gets short winded, it could be very dangerous. Unfourtauntly...as she gets older, it appears they aren't growing with her."  
  
"....and?"  
  
"...and if she survives to be 20, she'll be bedridden for the rest of her life."  
  
Shadow looked at the floor as a long silence went on. "Professor?"  
  
"Yes Shadow?"  
  
"I think I'm sad....for Maria."  
  
That night was paticulary long for everyone. Maria was kept in Geralds lab with a machine that helped her heart and lungs, and Shadow held Maria's hand for hours. He looked down as suddenly, like earlier, another flash hit him.  
  
"Grandfather, don't let him die, please! Please!"  
  
"Maria I can't..."  
  
"Yes you can! I...I'll do it myself then!"  
  
"NO..MARIA!!"  
  
Another shock back to the real world, he spun around to see the still unconcious Maria and the Professor, busy at work. Shadow was begining to reconsider his decision to stay quiet about these reoccuring thoughts, but he remembered how the professor had said he had deleted his creation. Perhaps if he told Gerald, he would delete those memories too. The last thing Shadow wanted was to lose more memories. He clung to Maria's hand a bit tighter, worried why she hadn't stirred for over 12 hours. Whimpering, he nuzzled her side alittle. His face half covered by her body, he looked to the Professor. He focused his internal optical units to Geralds work about 40 feet away. He read the screens and saw something that shocked him.  
  
Project SHADOW - Possible termination is required, subject is showing malfunctions and errors in performance. If termination is carried through, Shadow2 will be created.  
  
Blinking in disbelivment, he nuzzled Maria some more in hopes she would wake up and comfort him. Still no response, the Professor then turned to him.  
  
"Give her the night through, Shadow. Go get some rest now. In the right place."  
  
"But Mari--"  
  
"Go on. She'll be awake when you come back to her tomorow morning."  
  
Slowly moving from his spot, he nuzzled against Maria's cheek one last time before leaving her to rest and walking down the hallway towards the exit of the lab. As the doors retracted, he turned around once more before exiting and heading towards his own chambers.  
  
He hoped for the best as he went down the staircase, wondering exactly when she would wake up. After a moment, he mentally kicked himself for making the mistake this morning. If he hadn't, he would of been when her when it happened and...  
  
Opening his bedroom doors, there was a large room made of metal and in the center back was a small platform, similiar to the one he was scanned on. Stepping onto it, a blue light bathed him.  
  
Maria...I'm sorry...it was my fault.  
  
It was then Shadow lost conciousness and fell into a dead sleep. 


End file.
